


Whatever I Am

by Minuscule_Light



Category: Kingdom Hearts, The Lion King (1994)
Genre: Crossover, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 02:27:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19219705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minuscule_Light/pseuds/Minuscule_Light
Summary: Nobodies aren't supposed to feel, and yet, Roxas and Xion do nothing but when they are around each other. Roxas seeks to cheer Xion up and invites her to a new world, to forget everything and just be happy. But things can only last for so long until dreaming ends and one must wake up.





	1. Sunset Cheer

“Xion. Your numbers have been slacking of late. A little more heart collecting and less time acting broken.” His tone lowered. “Don’t think that you can’t be so easily replaced.” 

There was a different look to Saix’s cruel amber eyes whenever he said anything to her, low enough to only reach her ears. She knew that it made him feel better to jab at her personally like that. It stung, how could it not? With each cold statement that was said, like being wrapped in barbed wire, she thought that it would be easier to endure, but it never was. Just when she felt like she belonged, Saix easily reminded her -- she didn’t. 

She always wore the hood when he was near, a mask to hide her eyes, to hide her true self. Saix only ever saw her as an object, a tool, so that’s what she showed him. She was grateful that he never saw, for the hurt was evident there, like splintered glass. Xion swallowed and nodded before conjuring up a path of darkness and stepping inside. 

It felt almost a relief to step into the corridors. She knew the coat protected her so she wasn’t afraid as the darkness swallowed her up. There was only one place that she felt drawn to, the only place that made sense. 

The warm glow of twilight touched her form and she drew the hood back. The last of the lingering light touched her face, a faint warmth mixed with the slight chill of the wind. Xion enjoyed the feeling and she pushed what Saix said to the back of her mind. Smiling, she ran to the center of town where the ice cream was sold.

Traveling up the stairs of the clocktower felt as methodical as her thoughts. Deep in her head, the climb passed by in a blink and before she knew it, the opening yawned out to the beautiful sunset sky. She stepped forward and peered around the corner. Excitement leaped in her being when she saw Roxas sitting at the edge, legs dangled over the side. She hadn’t realized the feeling would be so intense. Was she sick? Was this normal to feel this way? Surely, it wasn’t what -- She shook the thought from her head and simply enjoyed it. She knew she was different from everyone else, why would this feeling be any different? A smile pulled at her lips and she drew near.

“Hey Roxas.” 

He turned and his face lit up, eyes sparkling. “Xion!” 

“I have ice cream.” She handed it to him, which he took graciously. 

“Thank you.” 

She settled herself down next to him on the ledge and everything melted away. Her shoulders eased and muscles relaxed; her world made sense again with the rolling of peach clouds off in the distance. Xion remembered her ice cream and took a bite, relishing the salty-sweet taste on her tongue. While her gaze was heavenward, Roxas couldn’t help but glance at her.

“I didn’t think you’d show,” he said amiably. “I’m glad you did, though.” 

Her mouth pulled in a small smile and she looked down. Roxas always made her feel welcomed, needed and wanted. He made her feel like she belonged. Another feeling swelled within her, like a gentle ocean wave. She had no idea how to convey this to him; she dearly wished she could somehow. 

“Thank you … Roxas.” 

She looked at him, wanting to try to tell him more. He smiled, so warm and kind, so unlike everyone else she had ever known. He deserved so much more than the Organization that they worked for. Blond head tilted slightly as blue eyes regarded her.

“Did Saix get on your case again?” 

She blinked. Was it that obvious? Or was he simply that attuned to the going ons in her mind? Xion looked away. 

“Yes.”

“Hey, it’s ok. Whatever that jerk said to you, it’s not true! He’s lucky I didn’t hear it or else I’d tell him off.” 

She smiled in appreciation before taking another bite of ice cream. Roxas took a bite of his, too and both were quiet while the wind gently blew the clouds across the sky. She knew Roxas cared but Saix was still their superior. They still had a job to do. The Organization was all they knew, and all they would ever know, she feared. 

Roxas suddenly bumped shoulders with her.

“Hey, why don’t we go somewhere?” 

“Some … where?” 

“Sure! We’re not due back for a bit yet and Axel’s not coming.”

She peered at him skeptically before eating the last of her ice cream. Roxas suddenly stood up and offered her his hand.

“Come with me.” 

She took it and he helped her to her feet.

“Where exactly are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.” 

There was a mischievous look in his eyes as he grinned at her. The excitement began to come back again. She shared his smile and slowly began to ease out of the shell she always wore for work, or even around her friends, sometimes, on the days she’d feel really insecure. The two walked a little ways along the clock tower before he stopped. He raised a gloved finger at her.

“On one condition,” he said. “You must leave all thoughts of what’s troubling you behind. No sad face. No brooding. This trip runs on happiness and smiles!” 

She couldn’t help but laugh. “You got me there! Where on earth did you get that from?” 

“A dream I had,” he shrugged. “Do you promise?” 

Her eyes met his and the concern that she saw there was so real. Her expression grew serious. 

“I promise.”

Roxas conjured up a corridor of darkness. He gripped her hand and grinned again. “Come on!”


	2. Through Different Eyes

Xion was pulled forward and before she knew it, she fell into open space with a cry and landed hard on the ground. 

Roxas was ready for it but still skidded across the ground, bits of rock and dirt hurting his feet. He turned to look at Xion and had to hide a laugh behind an arm. She lay on the ground, legs twisted under her. 

“Roxas, I don’t feel right. What’s going on? Where are we?” 

Her black hair was gone, though it now existed as a tuft on her tail and her fur was a dark grey. Xion slowly got to her paws and shook her head, ears flopping back and forth from the action. She caught sight of him, a golden lion with the majority of his human hair intact as a mane tuft on his head and she gasped, eyes as wide as dinner plates. 

“You’re a lion!” She looked at herself. “I’m a lion! We’re lions!” 

Roxas laughed and padded over to her. With a paw, he smoothed a piece of fur down on her haunches.

“You looked like you could use a break from being a human. And I only found this world recently. This is only the second time I’ve been and the first wasn’t for very long. But I wanted to share the experience with you.” 

She smiled, and he could see, in her eyes, how much this truly meant to her. He never wanted her to feel alone or that she couldn’t come to him with things, especially if it concerned Saix. He wanted her to forget everything about that place and just be. He quickly tapped her shoulder with a paw.

“Tag! You’re it!” 

He was off through the savannah grass as fast as his legs could take him. His ears instinctively twitched and swiveled, well aware of sounds behind him; the heavy thump of running feet upon the ground sought to catch up quickly. He laughed and ran faster, delighting in the sudden surge of his muscles as powerful legs carried him across the plains. 

He skidded to a stop and looked around. “Xion?” He didn’t see her though his ears were pricked forward, hoping to hear her. He trotted back a ways, grass brushing his face as he pushed forward.

Out of nowhere, he was hit in the side and bowled over. “Gotcha!” He found himself on his back as Xion stood over him triumphantly, looking incredibly amused with herself. She pressed a paw to his chest.

“You’re it!” 

Without hesitation, his friend was gone. A deep chuckle escaped him, a playfulness in his eyes as this amiable game suddenly shifted into slight competitiveness. Though he didn’t know it, it was a dance, a matching of wits and will, of complementary character. He lead and she followed without fear, and as she stepped, he wanted to move with her, to move as one wherever they so desired. It was an effortless thought that clouded his mind, bubbling in his subconscious that made him giddy with joy.

Roxas breathed in deep, filling his nose with her scent. Even as a lioness, she retained her human smell, the smell of leather and the far away smell of the sea and her own signature scent that was completely her. Roxas almost forgot he was hunting his friend and suddenly crouched low on his paws, muscles bunched, ready to leap. Ears caught the sound of her moving through the grass and Roxas dug his claws into the ground, leaping several bounds before catching her by surprise. Xion let out a cry and laughed as they found themselves on the ground again. The sound, filled with a joy he hadn’t heard before, was the sweetest song to his ears. She grinned up at him through a lion’s face, but he thought she was the most beautiful creature in all the worlds. She gazed up at him with eyes as deep as the ocean, sparkling like the sun upon the water. 

“Roxas … are you ok?” She still smiled and swatted at him playfully. “You look like you’re in a daze, like a zombie.” 

“I guess I am a little out of it,” he said sheepishly, hardly knowing at all how to convey these feelings to her. Nobodies weren’t supposed to feel and yet that’s all he ever did around her. Xion might think him weird or worse, turn away from him. 

The day carried on into evening and Roxas and Xion ran as far as their legs would carry them, as if the wind had given them wings and they flew across the land. They didn’t know where they were going and it hardly mattered. The savannah plains gave way to denser trees and rising land masses. The dry air grew wet and streams turned into waterfalls. Tiny flowers that grew next to shrubs upon the ground were now huge and vibrant and flourished near the edges of water and upon the trees as vines hung and swayed in the breeze. The moment became almost magical as their eyes took in the vibrant colours, rich smells, and diverse sounds. They left the flat open space of the plains far behind and welcomed this new jungle vista where things felt more intimate and warm. 

“Roxas, it’s so beautiful,” Xion murmured. 

“Yeah,” he agreed, taken aback by the scenery as well. 

They padded onward, exploring hidden paths concealed by foliage, sniffing at large red flowers and staring upward to try to see the coloured birds that called in the trees. Light filtered through the leaves, casting a kaleidoscope of colours everywhere. 

The trees soon opened up to a hidden body of water that ran off into a small river curving away into the depths of the jungle. A small waterfall spilled down from secret places up above, hidden by foliage. Xion stepped forward, settling on the edge of rocks that made up the shoreline and leaned down to drink. Roxas followed in kind and quenched his thirst as well. It was cool and satisfying to his throat. A splash suddenly hit him in the face and he jerked away. A giggle sounded and he turned to see Xion hiding a laugh behind a paw. Grinning mischievously, he swiped his paw in the water, too but she quickly leaped away and padded almost to the other side, tail raised in a ‘can’t-catch-me’ way. His own tail swished behind him in frustration. No way was he going to let her get away that easily. Roxas glanced at the water at his paws. It wasn’t exactly the beach but it would have to do, he thought in amusement. The lion padded back to get a running start. With a laugh, he leaped through the air and smacked the water with all of his weight, splashing Xion heavily and she let out a high pitched cry. He poked his head above the surface. 

“Oh, that’s not fair,” she called. 

“Come on in! The water’s great!” 

“No way!”

Roxas paddled over to her. “Alright. Can you help me up,” he asked sweetly. 

Xion eyed him but leaned down anyway and offered her paw. Without hesitating, he grabbed it and pulled her in. It wasn’t long before she came up spluttering and gasping. Roxas laughed as he saw her struggle up the rocky bank. It wasn’t long before he climbed up behind her. Xion glanced over her shoulder at him and smirked before shoving him back in and ran off. That surprised him! He broke the surface again and pulled himself out. Shaking the water from his fur, he ran after her. The enclosed and twisting paths spilled them out into a field of long grass. Birds took to the skies, having been disturbed as Roxas and Xion continued to chase each other.

They reached a rise and took in the sight before them, the sky a warm peach as the world turned towards evening, their favorite time of day. They settled down to catch their breath. A yellow tail swept across the ground and brushed across a dark grey one. He let it linger while gazing at the vibrant colours up above and couldn’t help but steal glances at her. Her expression seemed the same, as if she hadn’t noticed but it wasn’t long before he looked away completely. With his focus upward, it was Xion’s turn to flick her eyes in his direction, a knowing smile on her mouth. 

“If we roll down this hill together, I bet I could pin you when we hit the bottom and win.”

Roxas turned and regarded her with amusement.

“Oh, really? Rolling down the hill, come out on top with my weight? I may not be a human right now, but this lion weight is a lot!” A beat of silence. “You’re on!” 

Without warning, he let out a playful roar and pounced her over the edge. Xion was caught by surprise from the sudden action and let out a cry. They went tumbling head over tails, the ground and sky tipping backward and forward all at once. It felt like it would never end until they both landed hard at the bottom, Roxas’ weight pressing Xion into the earth. Once he shook the dizziness out of his head, he laughed, having won her bet. 

His weight was heavy on her, though she didn’t mind, if it meant they could be close. She was hoping he’d win; she knew he would. She wanted him to be the best at everything, the greatest keyblade master the Organization had ever seen. She couldn’t stop herself and raised a paw up near his neck, urging his head down. She licked his cheek. Roxas’ smile disappeared in an instant and he stared at her in shock. All she could do was smile at him, feeling that wave of emotion overtake her, more intense than before. She wondered if he felt it, too. She wanted him to feel it, to feel everything she did. As if in response, his mouth pulled in a smile, different from all the ones before, warm and soft, eyes half closed as he regarded her in the evening light. His weight shifted off of her and she got to her paws. She didn’t stop moving and instead, as lions do, bumped her head against the side of his face in a hard nuzzle. He pressed back into her in kind. She put so much of her being into that, pressing against him, to feel him in a way that she couldn't know outside of this world. 

The Organization felt so far away, the duty of heart collecting and taking out large heartless didn’t seem so important anymore. Saix and his cruel words, passing out at random on missions, those strange but familiar dreams, all of it was gone and for the first time, Xion felt like she could be herself and just be. She wasn’t sure what she felt or if it even had a word, but she knew that it was dangerous if the Organization ever found out. But even that thought was distant and only the pretty calls of birds overhead and insects buzzing and humming all around them were the only real things in this moment -- a moment that she didn’t want to end, a moment that could have lasted several lifetimes and it still wouldn’t be enough.

The peach sky turned a vibrant purple and the jungle floor began to get darker. Xion forced herself to pull away and laid her ears back. Blue eyes shown with sadness as she watched the shadows stretch over Roxas’ face. Concern and questioning shown in his eyes, his mouth parted as if to say something, but he didn’t. Her being ached and the idea of going back frightened her. She couldn't voice it because she knew Roxas would never understand. For all she knew, he enjoyed being in the Organization, did as they asked without question, had a purpose. Hers always hinged on the fact of wielding the keyblade and if she ever lost it again … Roxas was right, she did need a break from that, but this world proved that if she was ever given a choice, she’d rather stay a lion with a lion’s worries instead of what she was. She closed her eyes, trying to hold in the sorrow as she shook inside. She felt a warm nose at the side of her neck and she smiled through her sadness. 

“It’s getting dark,” he whispered in her ear. “We should head back.” He pulled away.

“I -- “ 

Roxas had turned to go but he stopped and looked back at her. 

Under his gaze, she felt like she could tell him anything. She desperately wanted to and yet, something inside always stopped her. 

“I don’t want to go back,” she said softly. “This place … this world that you found is just … so magical and beautiful. And the sunset, Roxas, it rivals the one back home.” She tried to play it off and wondered how convincing she sounded.

His ears pricked at the word ‘home.’ He never really felt like he belonged anywhere, not really. But wherever Xion was, wherever she wanted to be, it was home enough for him. Perhaps it wasn’t describing a place at all but rather some one. He went back to her and gave her cheek a small lick before he pressed his brow to hers. 

“To be honest, I kind of don’t want to go back either. But we’ve been gone all day and they’ll be expecting us to R.T.C. very soon. Hey, we can always come back! We will come back. And maybe we can bring Axel, too.” 

His words didn’t match his actions, the latter being far more tender than the casualness of the former. She didn’t have her hood to hide her eyes in this world, and whatever pain was there, could be read like a book. As her words were off-handed, so was his, but he drew himself around her as if she had a broken limb and he shielded her from the world. She allowed herself to be enveloped, holding on to that rare peace for as long as she could. After a time, she mentally gathered herself up and nodded against him. 

“You’re right. How silly of me. The Organization needs us, after all.” 

Roxas smiled in the growing darkness and for the first time, Xion didn’t believe it. Did he feel the same about the Organization as she did, after all? 

An echoing roar cut through the air. Both sets of ears laid flat against their head and Xion shrunk down to half her size as she hunched against the ground, pressing against Roxas’ side. The fur on his shoulders bristled and a low growl escaped from the back of his throat. The shadows became less romantic as evening began to give way to night, fear crawling up their spines like its own kind of heartless. 

“Come on,” Roxas said quietly before bounding up the steep hill and back the way they had come, Xion right at his heels.

Once they reached the plains and left the darkened jungle behind, the fear lessened immensely. The sky opened up to stars softly dotting the sky overhead. The last of the light still glowed in the west on the horizon and Roxas and Xion ran as if they were chasing the fading sunset like their lives depended on it. 

We should almost be there, Roxas thought. It shouldn’t be too hard to find in the dark. 

The familiar grasses swayed, appearing black as the sun disappeared, at last, beneath the horizon. Roxas was amazed at how well lions saw in the dark and everything took on a different glow. How the very stars, themselves, lit up the world at night. It had to be his second favorite sight after the sunset in Twilight Town. He didn’t have much time to think on it as he began searching, fervently, for the portal that would lead them back to the Clock Tower and then from there, to the World That Never Was. 

His nose caught the smell of leather and he half dismissed it as Xion but it was mingled with a different scent, the smell of burning wood, and it caused him to stop dead in place. Fear crept back and he looked behind him for his friend. The sudden urge to protect hit his chest and he suddenly, desperately wanted her near. Whatever it was that they heard in the jungle, was here in the plains. If it was a member from the Organization … it depended on which one but then again, at this point, did it matter? He felt like they were in trouble no matter who it was. 

The feeling of being hunted was insurmountable. He shook inside. Ears swiveled in all directions, straining for any sound, eyes widened to take in any and all movement. Where did she go, he thought in frustration. She was right behind me! 

A deep, low growl sounded from behind a wall of grass on his right. He snapped his head in that direction only to see a large shape stir. A feminine cry came from further behind and he saw Xion leap. A gutteral yowl pierced the air. Roxas unsheathed his claws. The scent of burning suddenly filled his nostrils as he awaited the quickly emerging animal. 

“Geez, you could have warned me before ganging up on me. And biting was hardly necessary. Where is that other kid?! I’m going to cuff him when I see him!” 

Green eyes were set in a dark lion face, a red mane sweeped back in a familiar style. 

“Axel?” 

The usually friendly eyes now glared down at the sight of him. Roxas pressed his ears back and lowered his head. Actually, this was worse. Xion stepped out of the grass behind him, more curious than anything. But it wasn’t long before she, too, drooped her head in shame. 

“Where have you two been?” 

Roxas wasn’t used to the tone in his friend’s voice. It was authoritative and reprimanding, far different from the amiable demeanor it usually was. 

“Do you know how long I’ve had to search for you two? How far I’ve had to go? I probably searched through ten worlds by now.” 

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Roxas said, defending himself. “Xion didn’t, either. Our missions were done for the day.” 

“You know how Saix gets when you don’t R.T.C. It’s well passed that time.” 

Anger suddenly flared up in Roxas’ chest at the mention of that name. He lifted his chin and glared back at Axel. 

“It’s because of that jerk we were even here in the first place!” 

Xion’s voice broke in. “Roxas … no --” 

He snapped his head towards her. “No! Saix needs to stop disrespecting you!” He turned back to the lion in front of them. “And Axel, if you don’t think I can’t see the pain in her eyes, you’re wrong! I see it plain on her face how much it hurts her, and it hurts me!” 

Axel’s expression didn’t change but his voice was low and dangerous.. 

“How many times do I have to tell you? You’re a Nobody. And Nobodies don’t feel anything. Now, R.T.C. That is an order.” 

Roxas’ brow furrowed in anger but he stomped forward into the dark. Xion followed. Finding the darkness portal on the ground, it wasn’t long before they both disappeared. 

Axel let out an incredibly exasperated sigh and looked up at the stars. Why did he always get stuck with the icky jobs, he thought before shaking his head. 

“What’s a guy need to do to get a break around here, huh?” 

“Fussy cubs will test one’s patience,” came a voice in the grass, “but it is the wise that don’t lose their temper.” 

“That’s what I get for being the designated babysitter.” Axel rolled his green eyes, unperturbed by the new visitor. “I didn’t sign up for the job.” 

A baboon emerged from the grass, and leaned against a walking stick, the gourds softly clanking as they settled. Axel stared at him. 

The stranger stroked his beard. “Hmmm. You don’t look like any lion I’ve ever seen.” 

“Just passing through. Trying to catch my ‘fussy cubs’ and all.” 

The baboon chuckled. “They must have run very far to come into these lands.” 

“Yeah, I suppose they did. But they’re supposed to know better!” 

Axel’s brow furrowed. Those kids really did keep him on his toes. And what they did came back on him, of course. If they were tired of Saix, Axel was certainly sick of the whole thing. If it wasn’t aimlessly wandering the maze that was Castle Oblivion looking for a movable needle in a haystack, he was babysitting. That was hardly part of the job description when he signed up for this gig, not that he even had a choice. But watching them sometimes, how human they seemed. If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought they were. He needed to keep that in check before it got the attention of anyone in the Organization. His own care for them surprised him. He didn’t want to see any harm come to Roxas or Xion, but everyone was making it really difficult, more so as the days passed. So many things going on that they had no clue about. And it was his lies that shielded them from knowing. If it came to it, he’d protect them, in his own way, but he would. 

The baboon’s voice broke into his thoughts. “There must be a reason why they did so.” 

“Yeah, what do you know about runaways?” 

He chuckled. “More than you think.” 

Axel glanced at the stars. “Do they ever stop doing that?” 

“With time and a good smack on the head.”

Axel chuckled at that. 

“Thanks. I’ll remember that for next time.”


	3. No More Words

Xion stumbled forward and Roxas shot his arm out to catch her. As the darkness swallowed their lion forms, the change back into a human was sudden and jarring. The second she got her footing, she let his arm go, albeit reluctantly. Being human meant having different rules to play by, different laws to follow. When they returned back to the familiar clock tower, she realized, more and more, how much it felt like a dream. Did it really happen? She glanced at Roxas. Everything seemed the same, but was it really? A gloved hand was held out to conjure the corridor that would lead them back to the grey area. Everything felt like it was moving too fast, like they were steadily marching towards a day that neither of them wanted. It was an awful feeling, one that felt all the more prevalent the closer they got back to the Castle. 

“It was real to me.” 

She looked up, startled out of her thoughts and emotions.

“What?”

“Xion, what happened back there, it was real. Don’t ever doubt it.” 

“O -- Ok.” 

She trembled inside, her emotions threatening to swallow her up like the darkness except there would be no protection for her. She felt his gloved hands at her shoulders, as if he were physically keeping her from falling apart. As he stood before her, he became as unsure as she felt, wanting to do something but not knowing what or how, and she broke all the more for it. Roxas suddenly threw his arms around her and clutched her tight. Their bodies pressed together, she felt that warmth within her return, a reprieve midst the storm. Her arms squeezed him back, as hard as she could, and the hug felt more like a willful fusing of their bodies. Perhaps two incomplete people could make a single complete person, someone whole with a real, beating heart. They didn’t know, but what they did, was how much they meant to each other, surely that was enough? Everything that Roxas wanted to say, she felt it through his embrace, this need to protect and defend. She felt safe, where nothing could hurt her, no one could use and manipulate her, she was her own person and not a replica, a secret she kept to herself. Roxas didn’t know what she was. When she was around him, she felt like a Nobody like him, yet, Nobodies were still a shadow of what it meant to be a somebody. She just wanted to be like him, someone real, or real enough. He pulled back and cupped her face with his gloved palms, eyes sad. He touched his brow to hers, and she was suddenly back in the jungle, birds singing, trees rustling. The deepest longing to go to the beach, to the sea was almost overwhelming. Soon, she promised herself, they would all go, Axel, too. 

“Things will be ok,” Roxas promised. “I’m right here beside you.” 

She nodded against him and he pulled back and took her hand and both disappeared in the dark corridor. They were soon back in the familiar grey area, the large, circular place where they received their missions and departed to wherever they were told to go. It was empty now and completely silent, where only the far away Kingdom Hearts shown from the sky through the large panoramic window behind them. Roxas still had hold of her hand as they stepped forward and into the darkened hall. Their steps were light and soft as they shuffled down the hallway towards their rooms. She never let go of his hand and as they stepped further, her grip slowly tightened with anxiety. As they passed by other rooms, snoring could be heard from doors left ajar. Finally, the two stopped in front of her room and Xion held in a wave of emotions as she took in a sharp breath. His arms, once again, found themselves around her. She didn’t want him to go, she didn’t want to part. Not because she couldn’t take the absence, but for what she felt, that after this moment, nothing would remain the same. She was scared one of them would collapse into a deep sleep and never wake, she was scared the Organization would find out all that they felt about each other by just looking at them and keep them apart indefinitely, scared that the time at the clock tower would be over-- just everything ending after such a beautiful time. 

Oh Roxas, she thought miserably, it all truly was a dream after all. But I must wake up, even if you must remain asleep a while longer. 

“Shhhhhhh,” he shushed softly The sound entered her head and she felt like she could breathe again. His hand smoothed along her back and felt him press his mouth into her hair. His actions were so tender, so kind. It chased away her fears and allowed her to think clearly again. She relaxed in his arms and they stayed that way for a time, just holding each other. Her hands slowly moved up his back to rest at his shoulders and she peered up into his face. She pulled her arm back and lifted a hand up to sift gloved fingers through his spikey, blond hair, gazing at him thoughtfully. 

“Do you really think that things will be ok?” 

“Of course,” he said at once. “If Saix says anything, I’ll -- 

“No, not that. I mean … us.” 

His brow furrowed in thought as her free hand alighted on his shoulder once again. “I don’t know what you mean.” 

She wasn’t entirely sure she even knew. “Can you protect me from time, itself? Can you stop it? Can you protect us from the future?” 

Realization shown in his eyes and he remained silent. 

“Within me is a waterfall of emotions flowing from me and at times, I feel like I could almost burst. We’re not supposed to feel, yet we do. Don’t you want to know why? Why we’re so special? Or … you, rather.” 

“You’re special, too, Xion. More than you know -- more than you can ever know. The keyblade chose you, too.” 

She wasn’t so sure. Things just weren’t adding up. And here she stood in the same place as before, before Roxas took her to that world, before she left for Twilight Town, before Saix’s hateful comment, before she had even left her room that morning. Nothing changed and nothing would and she was destined to walk down whatever path the Organization demanded of her, and she sensed that it was nothing good. Her hands slid down his arms as she pulled away. Their fingers caught and hooked together as they lingered for a moment, feeling like she was holding onto the last vestige of their togetherness by the very tips. 

“Thank you for inviting me to that world, Roxas. It meant a lot to me. Goodnight.” 

She meant goodbye and turned to leave, feeling her being rip and her eyes finally open from a long time in slumber to a future that was impossible to share in with her friends. 

As their fingers dropped away, Roxas watched her leave, but not before seeing that terrible sadness swallow her up, as if it were a darkness all its own. There was something in the tone of her words that scared him to death, a fear of never seeing her again after tonight. The time she had lost her ability to wield a keyblade, that same fear crept up his spine and settled in his bones. He had worried of her endlessly and wouldn’t stop until he and Axel had searched all over for her. But now, it felt like she was slipping into a place he couldn’t follow, into a place that would keep them apart forever. A sharp pain tightened in his chest. Without thinking, Roxas suddenly gripped her arm and yanked her back. 

“Wha --?” 

She tried to speak, eyes questioning and filled with confusion. 

“Xion …” 

He didn’t know what to say. He stared at her, memorizing the shape of her eyes, the way she blinked up at him with uncertainty, the point of her nose and the way her lips curved to form her mouth, half parted, as if to say something. It all happened in the breath of a second. Gloved hands raised up and cupped her sweet face. All he wanted was to take her pain away, to hear her laugh again, to see her be herself. There were no words to say to bring that back. 

Roxas leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, tender and warm. He lead and she followed as he felt her press back against him, felt her hands upon his own that still held her face. It was rhythmic and natural as breathing, like an ocean wave in his being on a hot summer day, and it billowed and crashed upon itself on its way to the shore. It felt as if the sun beat down on him, the warmth spreading from head to toe and he wanted nothing more than to bask in it without end. All at once, everything made sense. They slowly pulled away. His lips, still warm, trembled as he took in a few shaky breaths, regarding her as she did the same. 

Gloved hands lowered and he tucked his arms close to himself as if, deep within, he knew he did something wrong, though it hardly felt wrong at all. Taking a step back, he glanced at Xion. He couldn’t see her face as her head was bowed and her bangs hid her eyes, looking so small before him. The silence felt loud and he had a sinking feeling she was just going to turn away and he’d have to let her go this time. He wasn’t sure at all what compelled him to do what he did, or even what it was called. It was instinct, something he didn’t know Nobodies were capable of having. Maybe Axel was right and he really was acting out on what he remembered from his past. Perhaps it was wrong as the silence dragged on and she remained motionless. He had to break the silence.

“Xion, I -- I’m sor -- 

She suddenly threw herself into him, hugging him tight, her face pressed into his chest. Eyes widened, he was taken aback by the sudden action. Arms soon wrapped around her in an embrace that was just for her, fitting her against him like the last missing puzzle piece they both had been searching their entire life for. He couldn’t help himself and nuzzled his mouth into her hair, as he felt fond to do. They stayed that way for a time, feeling each other breathe. 

“Love …” 

“What?” 

“It’s called love,” Xion breathed against him. “What I’m feeling, what I have always felt.” She brought an arm from around him and fingered the metal chain that hung from his coat. “I read about the word from a book I found in the castle library, in that world with that woman and the rose. And I love you. I love you, Roxas, so much. If I had a heart, it would be yours, it would be completely yours. But whatever I am and whatever I have instead, I give to you.” 

He leaned back and peered into her face. “You have all of me, Xion, you always have. Whatever is in me, if anything at all, is yours. I live because you do. Even if I don’t have a heart, you exist in its place, my greatest treasure and greatest joy. Please don’t be sad anymore. All I want is for you to be you, to be happy.”

She smiled. “When I’m with you, I am.” She kissed the tips of her fingers and reached up and pressed them against his chest, at the place where a heart would be. She closed her eyes and nestled against him one last time a moment longer before forcing herself to pull away and take a step back. 

“You deserve so much more than this place, Roxas. And I hope one day, you see that. Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight …” 

He watched her turn and softly shut the door behind her. He wasn’t sure what her last comment meant but he was still too euphoric to give it much thought at that moment. Love … He truly was capable of loving after all! And Xion, his joy and treasure, she felt the same, too! He had to tell Axel! 

Roxas’ room was on the other end of the hall, back the way they had originally come. If he couldn’t find his best friend, he’d stay up a little longer and make a note of what happened in his diary. As he nearly jogged down the hall, he felt so energetic all of a sudden, as if he could fly! He rounded a corner and stopped abruptly at the sound of a throat clearing. He turned and saw the familiar red hair and green eyes of his best friend. 

“Axel! I’m glad I found you!” 

What had happened earlier between them in the new world was completely forgotten and Roxas was grinning from ear to ear in excitement. Axel leaned against the wall, his arms folded, expression unreadable. 

“Xion and I, we love each other!”

“Yeah, I know. I saw. Twice.” 

“You … saw?” 

“A world is one thing, but here? You’re lucky everyone else is asleep.”

Axel’s gaze was hard as he stared at his friend, deep in thought. Roxas didn’t understand. Was he in trouble again? After a time, the expression softened. A deep sigh escaped him and Axel pinched the bridge of his nose in agitation. 

“Roxas, no one else can know. Nobody.” 

There was the tone Roxas was used to. He stared at him, anxious of anything he’d have to say, because his best friend knew everything and he trusted him. 

“If Nobodies aren’t supposed to feel then … why do we feel, Axel?”

“I couldn’t tell you. It has to be something from your past, it just has to be, there’s no other explanation. But I mean it, Roxas. No one can know. I think it would be better if you two went on separate missions for a while. Xion can wield her keyblade just fine, now.” 

It felt like cold water had been poured over him. Was he right in thinking things were never going to be the same again after tonight? 

“We can still meet up for ice cream, of course,” Axel added and the boy nodded, comforted by that much, at least. “I just want to see you two, safe, that’s all. Get that through your head, at least.” 

“Thanks, Axel. I’ll … head in, now.” 

Roxas moved towards the door and opened it. 

“One more thing,” Axel said.

Roxas stopped and looked at him expectantly. Axel reached out and suddenly smacked him in the back of the head.

“Ow! Geez, what was that for?!” 

“Ask the monkey. Goodnight, Roxas. Keep your head out of the clouds. Work comes early tomorrow.” Axel gave him a half smile before he turned and made his way down the hall.

Shutting the door, Roxas was still rubbing his head. He walked across the room to his desk and the journal that he was instructed to write in each day. He sat down and opened it. Picking up a pen, he wrote: 

“Today, Xion and I went to a new world and had the best time. I will never forget it. And Axel smacked me in the head. Not sure what that was all about. 

They both mean the world to me. I couldn’t imagine my life without them.”


End file.
